Agree. Am 52 and, apart from the occasional wistful moment, I have never regretted not having children. I strongly believe that the lives we live are the lives we’re meant to be living. X
Some absolute belters on here. One of my hates is when people say “we’re pregnant” instead of “I’m pregnant” when they mean “we are having a baby”. It’s always a couple where the male partner is the type who would wear a “this is what a feminist looks like” t shirt, or maybe a gilet too. 😝
The fretting about not having children completely ended when I hit 50. It was like a weight lifted and I could truly get on with enjoying my life … I am now 56 and having a lovely time with no regrets x
Buzzwords in meetings. I have no idea what an algorithm is, and I don't care. AI - it is like that best friend at school who terrifies you. Botox - what are they injecting into my face? Snail sperm? Roundabouts. Why are there so many lanes? Why is everyone so confident? Is this a circle of doom? Accidentally running into someone from school when I’m mid–“just popping to the shop” and dressed like I lost a fight with my laundry basket. They're always inexplicably glowing, like they’ve just returned from a yoga retreat in Bali and casually invented a life-changing app in their spare time. Meanwhile, I’m standing there clutching oat milk, trying to remember if I even brushed my teeth that morning.
“Fathers of daughters” see also “as a mother” and men who discover feminism/an awareness of issues that impact women and girls as and when they have a daughter…
anyone who starts their 'speech' with this makes me cross its so patronising and its unbearable, its like they command respect from it. I cannot stand as a child free by choice woman when someone starts something with this as instantly they think they know more than me, are better than me and that I cannot possibly know what real love is.
I'm 40 (turned 40 last week) and I am child free by choice, I am TERRIFIED of not being loved back by my husband anymore and him leaving me for some raven haired harlot who has a massive dump-truck ass and wash board abs (I sound like I've been reading the Daily Mail, I can assure you I have not) I'm also petrified of liquorice and aniseed its VILE. I'm terrified of going on a fair ground ride and being catapulted into the abyss. I used to be TERRIFIED of men in general and have spent a long time being afraid of being murdered and wondering what picture they'd use of me - (I grew up in the 90s and early 00's where child murders dominated headlines) Not helped by the fact that a boy in my class was murdered aged 12 and so this fear was rather rational. Nowadays I'm not scared of this as I have had plenty of time to think about how I'm going to WWE the shiz outta them should they approach. Now I am TERRIFIED of getting dementia like my mother and I was terrified of her dying too but she has now and yes it was horrific and I'd be lying if I said time was a healer - thats b*lls.
Wasps.I have to carry a life saving syringe with me at all times since I nearly died twice of wasp stings and the desensitization treatment didn't work.
You're wrong about Gails though. My daughter, grand daughter and I go to one whenever I visit them. Ace coffee, lovely cinnamon buns and the toasted bagels with peanut butter and jam are something else. Lovely staff too. I've bought many a loaf there and none has been hard.
You shouldn't worry about Greg and a yoga or any other girl. He seems far too nice..and loyal. We writers can continue our careers till we are very old..I'm 83 and still writing. Catch a skinny latte yoga girl doing that ? It's the oldies you have to keep your eye on.
The stairs with open backs! I have actual nightmares about being stuck at the top of a flight of those stairs. They terrify me. I’m so glad it’s not just me but also really sorry for you as I hate how much they scare me.
Agree 1000% with everything, but specifically the bikes. The other day my friend asked (I now think somehow hypnotised me through the phone) to go on a tandem bike with her. If you just gasped, that is the correct reaction. I liken the experience to what I can only imagine being on a plane falling out of the sky, or standing in a street and seeing a lorry heading toward you feels like. Just hoping if it does have the inevitable ending you miraculously bounce. The truest form of fear. And the fuckers have a terrible turning circle, talk about Victorian, these horrid vehicles were designed before the wheel was invented I'm sure of it. I drank a bottle of natural wine in about 12 minutes after, that's how traumatised I was.
I’m 60 and I’ve still yet to wake up regretting not having a child. You’ll be fine. Though the thought of the dog dying is terrifying.
Thank you for this x
Agree. Am 52 and, apart from the occasional wistful moment, I have never regretted not having children. I strongly believe that the lives we live are the lives we’re meant to be living. X
I just turned 40 last week and I've been married 15 years and still NOT regretting no kids either! I love to see this :) x
Some absolute belters on here. One of my hates is when people say “we’re pregnant” instead of “I’m pregnant” when they mean “we are having a baby”. It’s always a couple where the male partner is the type who would wear a “this is what a feminist looks like” t shirt, or maybe a gilet too. 😝
I nearly added that t shirt. Also, men in bobble hats (my agent wanted me to add this).
my husband HATES this, he always rants about it lol!
The fretting about not having children completely ended when I hit 50. It was like a weight lifted and I could truly get on with enjoying my life … I am now 56 and having a lovely time with no regrets x
Thank you Julie ❤️
Buzzwords in meetings. I have no idea what an algorithm is, and I don't care. AI - it is like that best friend at school who terrifies you. Botox - what are they injecting into my face? Snail sperm? Roundabouts. Why are there so many lanes? Why is everyone so confident? Is this a circle of doom? Accidentally running into someone from school when I’m mid–“just popping to the shop” and dressed like I lost a fight with my laundry basket. They're always inexplicably glowing, like they’ve just returned from a yoga retreat in Bali and casually invented a life-changing app in their spare time. Meanwhile, I’m standing there clutching oat milk, trying to remember if I even brushed my teeth that morning.
“Fathers of daughters” see also “as a mother” and men who discover feminism/an awareness of issues that impact women and girls as and when they have a daughter…
anyone who starts their 'speech' with this makes me cross its so patronising and its unbearable, its like they command respect from it. I cannot stand as a child free by choice woman when someone starts something with this as instantly they think they know more than me, are better than me and that I cannot possibly know what real love is.
Re. wasps: great 80s rhyming children's book where they get their comeuppance, worth a read: The Giant Jam Sandwich
Such a good book ! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Brilliant! (And perfect timing) I’m reading this sitting in my car having just locked the doors because: men.
ALWAYS CHECKING
I'm 40 (turned 40 last week) and I am child free by choice, I am TERRIFIED of not being loved back by my husband anymore and him leaving me for some raven haired harlot who has a massive dump-truck ass and wash board abs (I sound like I've been reading the Daily Mail, I can assure you I have not) I'm also petrified of liquorice and aniseed its VILE. I'm terrified of going on a fair ground ride and being catapulted into the abyss. I used to be TERRIFIED of men in general and have spent a long time being afraid of being murdered and wondering what picture they'd use of me - (I grew up in the 90s and early 00's where child murders dominated headlines) Not helped by the fact that a boy in my class was murdered aged 12 and so this fear was rather rational. Nowadays I'm not scared of this as I have had plenty of time to think about how I'm going to WWE the shiz outta them should they approach. Now I am TERRIFIED of getting dementia like my mother and I was terrified of her dying too but she has now and yes it was horrific and I'd be lying if I said time was a healer - thats b*lls.
Wasps are tiny terrorists and I will not be convinced otherwise.
Wasps.I have to carry a life saving syringe with me at all times since I nearly died twice of wasp stings and the desensitization treatment didn't work.
You're wrong about Gails though. My daughter, grand daughter and I go to one whenever I visit them. Ace coffee, lovely cinnamon buns and the toasted bagels with peanut butter and jam are something else. Lovely staff too. I've bought many a loaf there and none has been hard.
You shouldn't worry about Greg and a yoga or any other girl. He seems far too nice..and loyal. We writers can continue our careers till we are very old..I'm 83 and still writing. Catch a skinny latte yoga girl doing that ? It's the oldies you have to keep your eye on.
Sorry, I'm still reeling in the horror that people have joint email addresses?! Who let that happen?
And people who have joint social media accounts!
Is there anything that says "My husband had an affair" more?
Or "I fully expect him to try to"?
Or…I don’t let my wife have her own 🥴🤪
I'm laughing into my chocolate cornflake cake
Agree with all of these. Well said!
The stairs with open backs! I have actual nightmares about being stuck at the top of a flight of those stairs. They terrify me. I’m so glad it’s not just me but also really sorry for you as I hate how much they scare me.
I loved what a way to go, absolutely brilliant. Read it in a couple of days and now I wish I hadn't finished it so quickly.
Right up my writing alley ;) Such a fantastic list. Thank you for the vulnerability and humor!
Agree 1000% with everything, but specifically the bikes. The other day my friend asked (I now think somehow hypnotised me through the phone) to go on a tandem bike with her. If you just gasped, that is the correct reaction. I liken the experience to what I can only imagine being on a plane falling out of the sky, or standing in a street and seeing a lorry heading toward you feels like. Just hoping if it does have the inevitable ending you miraculously bounce. The truest form of fear. And the fuckers have a terrible turning circle, talk about Victorian, these horrid vehicles were designed before the wheel was invented I'm sure of it. I drank a bottle of natural wine in about 12 minutes after, that's how traumatised I was.