I LOVE THIS!! I have two boys (20 & 18) and I feel real guilt that I intentionally added more penis to the world (but I am relieved I didn't have girls, even though I'm a girly girl myself) - their sperm donor (father, my ex) is a hideous narcissist but we don't see him anymore. We never know what we're going to add to this world, I mean, Bo Jo's parents had no idea what their 'union' would create for the future, nor Myra Hindley's, nor my ex's (shudder)!!! But then, we're grateful for you and Greg, so, there's that. Balance. You are allowed to want (and not want) what you want (or don't want)
So, this is my long-winded way of saying Thank You for a bloody fabulous piece and for sharing your vulnerability.
Had three of these and they ruined my house. The toys have been horrendously ugly and noisy with the exception of Sylvanian Families (those were more for me) Dog was a tiny bichon frise so couldn't support them on his back. Complete disaster, poorly thought out by me in fairness. They do come in useful now they're bigger, helpful with technology. Otherwise don't really recommend.
Absolutely no idea why anyone with lukewarm feelings about kids are expected to create, carry, birth and parent them for 20 + years. I feel like you really should WANT to do this exhausting (in every sense) full time job, for free. I say this as a mum, who put this off for 37 years for a reason. She’s great but my god it’s tough and thus why I shan’t be doing it again.
So much, you’ve absolutely nailed it! Every negative thing that childfree by choice people say about kids is true. They don’t exaggerate. So to want children despite all those things is an important factor.
The concept that if someone is unsure they should have some kids just in case they change their mind when it’s too late, makes a shiver run down my spine. What person wants to have been created as a backstop in case their parent might want them later? 😳
I love this so much. I would quite like a toddler (entertaining and kind of like a puppy) but I don’t want a newborn or a teenager. Understand this isn’t an option.
A puppy that soley wants to eat crackers and blueberries and has melt downs when ever you try to stop them from seriously injuring or killing themselves. So yes very entertaining 👀👀🤣
Adore! I’m not having children because I refuse to spend the best 20+ years of my life at soft play things and paying for premium holidays and dealing with constant illnesses and how to manage social media and and and. The life of a parent, certainly of children aged about 1 - 15, looks so unbelievably unappealing to me and when I’m spending my spare time carefully arranging my candles or at my umpteenth Pilates class of the week at midday or whenever I want or at a gig on a Monday night that got arranged last minute I thank my lucky stars for my freedom and the right to choose. And fwiw I think a baby wrapped in a Persian rug would be so chic it may make me want one?
I love everything about this. People can just piss off. They never stop commenting about others’ lives even if one is not in the goldfish bowl of ‘celebrity-dom’. If you’re a couple - when are you getting married? Once married, when are you having a baby? Once that one arrives, when are you thinking of the second /third etc? Ugh, get in the bin, Brenda. I love the idea of eyebrowless, Tory babies. Will keep my eyes peeled.
I was on the other side of this coin - desperately wanting kids but unable to have them without the help of lots of magical doctors.
And still, the questions. At the end of the day, it’s nobody’s damn business but yours and Greg’s, and it ENRAGES me that people still think they have the right to ask.
I am amazing with kids, I love them, I have worked with them in many jobs and it brings me joy. Being an auntie brings me immense joy and I am currently in the process of becoming a foster parent, but I don't want to have biological children, my body, my choice!!
But, even with this mindset, when I saw the photos of yours and Greg's wedding I thought oh yey I can't wait for them to have kids... a decision, choice and lifestyle that would make no iota of difference to my life, yet I had an opinion!!
Is it a hangup from the generation we're from? Is it the rhetoric we have been fed all our lives and seeps into our subconscious when we're not looking? I hate the questions because when you answer honestly the retort is 'you just haven't met the right man yet' FUCK OFF!!
So from a same same but different, I would like to apologise for thinking the same of you that people speak to me.
I really appreciate this because I think I would echo that thought if I’d seen our wedding photos as a stranger! Isn’t it funny that we naturally hope for that, as if we’re blessing a stranger with good fortune by hoping they have kids? Love your own insight x
Well thanks for summarising so wonderfully how totally sane, rational and acceptable is to not want a child of your own! I think we can all agree there are enough end of flight clappers in this world as it is, why risk adding one more to the mix?
In all seriousness though I’m 34 and single and busy watching all of my friends have babies (3 births in the last 3 months) but I have been wondering what it is about me that’s put me so firmly on the childless ‘dark side’…? Turns out I’m not the only one! Thanks to you for bringing me to this comment section, first place I’ve felt at ease saying ‘out loud’ that I think I want a child free life!
I bought Champagne on the day I was put on HRT - yes, unfortunately you can still get pregnant during perimenopause but most idiots don't know that, so it still works as an excuse - because it finally meant I had a one word answer to the children question, menopause. I could add an "early" to that one word to really make the person really feel uncomfortable, afraid it might be catching, embarrassed etc. Plus the relief I felt that I could now become an invisible woman, free to roam my ambitions and moods with the anonymity of a heterosexual, white, man. Still the best day of my life...until I move into post-menopause when I no longer have to worry about contraception, which at present I'm dealing with by not having sex with anyone but myself. I am good with kids, some have called me a baby whisperer, heck I've been a nanny, so like your husband people often find it hard to believe that I don't want my own. I'm good with kids because I understand how hard it is to be one, but that is not the same as wanting to live through childhood again, this time with the stakes even higher, because now I intellectually know how hard their little lives are, AND look at the state of everything, and I never liked the routine as a kid and now I'm in charge of it? No, goodness, please, be realistic. I'm also good with kids because I don't have to be around them, so I can choose to be around them on the days I can provide the attention they need, and not be around them on the days I can't (which is most days). It's only my poor cat who has to suffer the days I can't be around any living thing, and when she moves on, I won't suffer another pet through that either (unless I had a partner to take over when I just cannot)
Love this - I have 3 daughters and they definitely messed with my interiors. The youngest is now doing a degree in interior design so I’m expecting a free consultation and have spent some time re-adulting my home only for my eldest to present me with a grandson - don’t even get me started on the mess boys make. Besides I’m way too young to be a Nana for heavens sake I’m barely in my 50’s
Howling genuine tears at this on the tube and thinking that if someone asks why (unlikely, let’s be honest) I’ll have to explain it started with the image of a baby riding a dog, continued with the eyebrows and finished with a baby in a microwave
I get asked this A LOT and sometimes I think wow I’m quite flattered you think I’m mentally well enough to have a child.
Hahaha
The best comment ever ❤️
I LOVE THIS!! I have two boys (20 & 18) and I feel real guilt that I intentionally added more penis to the world (but I am relieved I didn't have girls, even though I'm a girly girl myself) - their sperm donor (father, my ex) is a hideous narcissist but we don't see him anymore. We never know what we're going to add to this world, I mean, Bo Jo's parents had no idea what their 'union' would create for the future, nor Myra Hindley's, nor my ex's (shudder)!!! But then, we're grateful for you and Greg, so, there's that. Balance. You are allowed to want (and not want) what you want (or don't want)
So, this is my long-winded way of saying Thank You for a bloody fabulous piece and for sharing your vulnerability.
That’s very kind of you xx
Had three of these and they ruined my house. The toys have been horrendously ugly and noisy with the exception of Sylvanian Families (those were more for me) Dog was a tiny bichon frise so couldn't support them on his back. Complete disaster, poorly thought out by me in fairness. They do come in useful now they're bigger, helpful with technology. Otherwise don't really recommend.
Haha I love this
Aw what if you had a baby and then it ended up being technologically inept? You’d have to, as above, throw it in the canal.
Absolutely no idea why anyone with lukewarm feelings about kids are expected to create, carry, birth and parent them for 20 + years. I feel like you really should WANT to do this exhausting (in every sense) full time job, for free. I say this as a mum, who put this off for 37 years for a reason. She’s great but my god it’s tough and thus why I shan’t be doing it again.
That’s perfectly put x
So much, you’ve absolutely nailed it! Every negative thing that childfree by choice people say about kids is true. They don’t exaggerate. So to want children despite all those things is an important factor.
The concept that if someone is unsure they should have some kids just in case they change their mind when it’s too late, makes a shiver run down my spine. What person wants to have been created as a backstop in case their parent might want them later? 😳
I love this so much. I would quite like a toddler (entertaining and kind of like a puppy) but I don’t want a newborn or a teenager. Understand this isn’t an option.
A puppy that soley wants to eat crackers and blueberries and has melt downs when ever you try to stop them from seriously injuring or killing themselves. So yes very entertaining 👀👀🤣
Until they decide they hate blueberries exactly 5 minutes after you bought the largest punnet ever seen.
Adore! I’m not having children because I refuse to spend the best 20+ years of my life at soft play things and paying for premium holidays and dealing with constant illnesses and how to manage social media and and and. The life of a parent, certainly of children aged about 1 - 15, looks so unbelievably unappealing to me and when I’m spending my spare time carefully arranging my candles or at my umpteenth Pilates class of the week at midday or whenever I want or at a gig on a Monday night that got arranged last minute I thank my lucky stars for my freedom and the right to choose. And fwiw I think a baby wrapped in a Persian rug would be so chic it may make me want one?
I realised as I wrote it that the rug baby would be incredibly chic.
I love everything about this. People can just piss off. They never stop commenting about others’ lives even if one is not in the goldfish bowl of ‘celebrity-dom’. If you’re a couple - when are you getting married? Once married, when are you having a baby? Once that one arrives, when are you thinking of the second /third etc? Ugh, get in the bin, Brenda. I love the idea of eyebrowless, Tory babies. Will keep my eyes peeled.
Once you’ve seen one, you can’t unsee them
😂
Well, this is magnificent. Thank you, Bella.
I was on the other side of this coin - desperately wanting kids but unable to have them without the help of lots of magical doctors.
And still, the questions. At the end of the day, it’s nobody’s damn business but yours and Greg’s, and it ENRAGES me that people still think they have the right to ask.
I can’t imagine how shit it would be to get asked the question when you desperately want kids but are having trouble.
I'm so glad more and more people are speaking about childfree being an option.
I never wanted a child. Always thought I was odd growing up knowing this feeling would likely never change.
Babies are weird, and not for everyone. And that's totally ok.
Plus, I can spend my income on travelling and nice food and not horrible plastic toys 😂
I laughed out loud at the bit about having a Tory baby! No love lost with that friend — I’d toss my hypothetical Tory baby into the canal too.
(From a nearly-34YO childfree woman who doesn’t want kids)
I am amazing with kids, I love them, I have worked with them in many jobs and it brings me joy. Being an auntie brings me immense joy and I am currently in the process of becoming a foster parent, but I don't want to have biological children, my body, my choice!!
But, even with this mindset, when I saw the photos of yours and Greg's wedding I thought oh yey I can't wait for them to have kids... a decision, choice and lifestyle that would make no iota of difference to my life, yet I had an opinion!!
Is it a hangup from the generation we're from? Is it the rhetoric we have been fed all our lives and seeps into our subconscious when we're not looking? I hate the questions because when you answer honestly the retort is 'you just haven't met the right man yet' FUCK OFF!!
So from a same same but different, I would like to apologise for thinking the same of you that people speak to me.
I really appreciate this because I think I would echo that thought if I’d seen our wedding photos as a stranger! Isn’t it funny that we naturally hope for that, as if we’re blessing a stranger with good fortune by hoping they have kids? Love your own insight x
Well thanks for summarising so wonderfully how totally sane, rational and acceptable is to not want a child of your own! I think we can all agree there are enough end of flight clappers in this world as it is, why risk adding one more to the mix?
In all seriousness though I’m 34 and single and busy watching all of my friends have babies (3 births in the last 3 months) but I have been wondering what it is about me that’s put me so firmly on the childless ‘dark side’…? Turns out I’m not the only one! Thanks to you for bringing me to this comment section, first place I’ve felt at ease saying ‘out loud’ that I think I want a child free life!
I bought Champagne on the day I was put on HRT - yes, unfortunately you can still get pregnant during perimenopause but most idiots don't know that, so it still works as an excuse - because it finally meant I had a one word answer to the children question, menopause. I could add an "early" to that one word to really make the person really feel uncomfortable, afraid it might be catching, embarrassed etc. Plus the relief I felt that I could now become an invisible woman, free to roam my ambitions and moods with the anonymity of a heterosexual, white, man. Still the best day of my life...until I move into post-menopause when I no longer have to worry about contraception, which at present I'm dealing with by not having sex with anyone but myself. I am good with kids, some have called me a baby whisperer, heck I've been a nanny, so like your husband people often find it hard to believe that I don't want my own. I'm good with kids because I understand how hard it is to be one, but that is not the same as wanting to live through childhood again, this time with the stakes even higher, because now I intellectually know how hard their little lives are, AND look at the state of everything, and I never liked the routine as a kid and now I'm in charge of it? No, goodness, please, be realistic. I'm also good with kids because I don't have to be around them, so I can choose to be around them on the days I can provide the attention they need, and not be around them on the days I can't (which is most days). It's only my poor cat who has to suffer the days I can't be around any living thing, and when she moves on, I won't suffer another pet through that either (unless I had a partner to take over when I just cannot)
Love this - I have 3 daughters and they definitely messed with my interiors. The youngest is now doing a degree in interior design so I’m expecting a free consultation and have spent some time re-adulting my home only for my eldest to present me with a grandson - don’t even get me started on the mess boys make. Besides I’m way too young to be a Nana for heavens sake I’m barely in my 50’s
You are def not old enough, they are vv rude to do that to you!
All perfectly valid reasons and many of them are why I am also not having children 😂
Howling genuine tears at this on the tube and thinking that if someone asks why (unlikely, let’s be honest) I’ll have to explain it started with the image of a baby riding a dog, continued with the eyebrows and finished with a baby in a microwave
😂