Why are summer dresses so ugly?

I do not want to look like a sexy milkmaid

It’s hot, it’s sunny, it’s over 20 degrees and all bets are off. British people go a bit mad in the sun compared to our European cousins who have a more stable relationship with it. Ours is a toxic situationship at best. People forget their responsibilities the moment the sun appears. An entire nation, cursed with a thousand years of knowing in our bones that these moments are rare and fleeting, is determined to grab every moment we can to bathe in the light before it’s snatched away from us. Pub gardens heave, people smoke as if the health risks are temporarily neutralised by the weather, fights break out, shit-filled rivers are swam in, men take their tops off at every opportunity with no thought to the old adage ‘just because you can doesn’t mean you should.’ And women? Women must break out the summer wardrobe whether we wish to or not.