You’re allowed to be angry.
You’re allowed to feel like you’re going mad when you see impossibly perfect women on yachts in hot countries telling you that “it’s a new year mood”. You’re allowed to be pissed off when a celebrity holds an illegal birthday party or an aristo family have a secret family Christmas gathering. If you didn’t get a rage nosebleed when that unemployed actor said he was hugging people at dinner parties then you’re a calmer person than me.
A caveat - I’m not talking about people who break the rules because they have no choice. The vulnerable, the poorest in society. Those who see no choice in order to keep their heads above water. That’s obvious right? But it still bears saying. Sometimes when you see a maskless person in a supermarket or clock ten people in a park you have to take a deep breath and remember you don’t know everybody’s circumstances. I am not always so good at this but better people than me remind me to keep trying to hold this thought in my mind.
It’s good to push back judgemental rage when you don’t know a person’s circumstances. We all know (despite what Madonna told us back in March) that Covid is not affecting everyone equally. I am sat safe in my house writing this, some of you reading it will be working in hospitals, schools, shops or care homes. The privileged have a level of protection that so many do not have right now. But that means that it’s hugely enraging when the least at risk in our communities flagrantly break the rules and endanger other people.
You are allowed to be angry about influencers who don’t give a fuck about playing their part. Someone told me this week to “be kind” to reality stars on holiday. I hate the “be kind” exhortation, especially when it’s used as a way to shut down valid frustration. You cancelled Christmas with your mum who you haven’t seen in months. Maybe you’re shielding for yourself or a family member. You haven’t seen your best mate in weeks and you’ve homeschooled children while working and then, when you have a five minute break from it all, you swipe through Instagram and you see someone sitting on a sun lounger trying to flog you lip gloss. Yeah. You’re allowed to want to scream into a pillow.
It’s not jealousy. You’re not a “hater.” Watching people choose to ignore rules put in place to protect everyone can make you feel like you’re losing your mind. It’s easy for the wealthiest people to stay at home. At most, it’s boring and anxious and shit but it’s not hard. It’s the least you can do really. That and wearing a mask. The tiny things you do so that doctors and nurses don’t fall to their knees with despair and exhaustion. So that you don’t endanger someone more vulnerable.
Flying to Dubai is not “safe”. Partying with a gang of maskless mates and then saying you had a negative test is not safe. The people working in those hotels are not safe either. But they have no choice and no safety net. I get pissed off when someone doesn’t wear a mask in a shop or on a bus - not so much for me but for the staff working that they are putting at higher risk. Imagine what risks these hotel workers deal with when influencers run around drunk and maskless day after day?
But what can you do? Well I wouldn’t bother sliding into their DMs with angry rants about rising rates. They’ll most likely get defensive and you probably won’t feel any better. The rage you feel is valid but it doesn’t help you to fester in it (she says, festering in it). I think it’s best to just unfollow people who seem like they’re not behaving well during all this, and focus on remembering that the majority of people are staying home and being sensible. Give the pouty influencer too much attention and well, that way madness lies. That’s a rule that doesn’t change whether there’s a plague whirling around or not by the way.
But my god are you allowed to take a minute to rage scream in the shower when you hear one of them saying they won’t take the vaccine because “it’s just a cold.” Maybe more than one minute. Here comes the stress nose bleed...
Ps - The mega A listers who went to St Barts are no better. Paul McCartney I thought you were better than this. I’ve relegated you in my list of best Beatles. RINGO is ahead of you now. RINGO!
A few suggestions:
I read The Glass Hotel by Emily St John Mandel this week and winced at how well she skewers the mega rich.
I am trying to perfect my chocolate babka skills - here is a good recipe.
This is a fascinating piece on the pandemic, written by Lawrence Wright who wrote The Looming Tower, a history of 9/11. He’s an incredible writer, who researches his subjects in almost forensic detail.
I bought spot stickers to quell my stress acne on the advice of many Instagram messages. I have been influenced!
A sunny place for shady people
This is bang on. For every influencer in Dubai I’ve unfollowed, I have replaced them with a dog Instagram account instead. X
Yes! This thoroughly pisses me off. This entitled view that rules/laws don’t apply to everyone, especially if you can throw money at it and somehow dodge accountability by taking multiple covid tests so you can carry on doing whatever the hell you want cos ‘you’ve got a negative test’! Grrr!