A doctor hates to see me coming

Hypochondria is embarrassing

I am what’s known as a person with health anxiety. This is a kinder way of saying I am a hypochondriac, a person who worries about random illnesses creeping through my body silently and malevolently. Except that’s not really right either. I’d argue it’s more accurate to say I have somatic anxiety. That is, my body creates real symptoms fuelled by the remarkable strength of my worry. They are real, painful, all consuming. My mind is amazing (at this one useless thing).

I wasn’t always like this. Covid really kicked any mild tendencies I had to worry about my body into high gear. It’s written in my genes, sadly. My Grandfather had an actual physical encyclopaedia of ailments which was so well thumbed that pages were falling out. He retired in his fifties and lived to 97, worrying every day about his failing body (which was only failing in the sense that everyone's body is failing).